Sacrifice
by Naire.Naire
Summary: Yaoi! Ed/Roy and onesided Ed/Al *Ed sacrifices himself to get Al's body back. Now he deals with consequences of his actions along with his emotions. Will he get over his wrong love for his little brother? How would Roy act, knowing he was dying?*
1. Chapter 1

Of course the characters aren't mine.

I didn't finish this story yet and I'm not sure where this is going, so be warned – I might not complete it! I have only a few chapters done.

Sacrifice

Chapter 1

„Yes, you could sacrifice your Gate of Truth. But do you know what that will mean?" the Truth asked, still grinning like mad. Ed, a little confused at the question, replied

"It means that I will lose my alchemy, right?"

"Yes, but not only. This is your Gate of Truth, meaning that it have everything you know. If you sacrifice it, you won't understand anything anymore. Like a language people are speaking. Or you won't know how to read, speak. Everything it's in there."

Ed couldn't believe it. So his genius plan wasn't good after all. So what should he do now?

"That was my only plan!" he said desperately. "What can I do now?"

"If you want your brother back you have to present something of equal value. You know that, Mr. Alchemist!"

"Yes, but what else can I do? Al or any of my friends won't forgive me if I sacrificed myself…"

"Your plan was good, I'm impressed. You couldn't know the meaning of the Gate. So I will make you a deal. Yes, I require your life for his, but I can take it slowly from you."

"Slowly? What do you mean by that?" Ed was confused and wary. Truth took a lot from him already.

"You will die slowly. Let's say, in five years? Do you take that deal?"

Ed took his time thinking about it. He knew that his brother was waiting for him to rescue him and there wasn't any way he will leave him here. And he was ready to sacrifice anything for him, even his life. But dying in five years time? "Would that be painful?"

"And what do you think? You have to pay for those years after all."

Was he ready to live in pain for his brother? He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He knew he would do anything. He loved him.

"All right, I will take your deal but this pain have to be bearable. I have to be able to hide it from everyone!"

"Fine! Take your brother with you then!" the Truth exclaimed happily. The Gate suddenly opened and one black hand pierced through Ed's heart, leaving a dull pain behind. Ed groaned, but managed to control his expression after awhile. He turned around and there he was, his brother waiting patiently for him. When Ed approached him, Al smiled. Ed was glad that his little brother didn't hear a deal. It would break his heart for sure. Ed helped him stand and took him away.

"Edo?" Al asked quietly, seated on his bed in the hospital. After coming back from the Gate, his body was very weak so the doctors kept him in place to help him grow his strength back. Ed stayed with him, refusing to leave his side even for the moment. After stubbornly sleeping in a chair for three days, the nurse took pity on him and gave them a room with two beds. Ed lowered a book he's been reading, unconsciously keeping his hand near his painful heart, in a tight grasp of his shirt.

"Yes, Al?" his voice was quiet, knowing that Al was still getting used to hearing with his own ears.

"Nii-san, what did you sacrifice to bring me back?" Al was afraid of that question.

"Al… I…" Ed panicked a little, tightening his grip on his chest. "I didn't have to give up anything." He lied. Al gasped, shocked. "How's that possible?"

"I… I wanted to sacrifice my Gate of Truth. I thought that I will only lose my alchemy. But he told me that would mean that I won't understand anything anymore, like what people are speaking or what I read. But he was impressed with my offer and thinking and said that I deserve to bring you back." Ed knew that lying to his brother was horrible but what else should he do? Al would be angry and sad, feeling guilty for his sacrifice. But Ed didn't regret anything. This pain, while sometimes unbearable, especially at night, was nothing compared to the joy of seeing his brother in flesh.

Al seemed to buy this, because he grinned like a madman. "I'm so happy, Nii-san! You have no idea how scared I was of asking you that. I'm glad you didn't go and sacrifice something important for me."

Ed faked a smile at him and buried his face back in a book.

It took a few weeks for Al to recover enough to be deemed ready to go around on his own. He was still weak but he got used to his body again and to the bright light, darkness and loud sounds. They moved from the hospital to the apartment Ed brought for them. He said that the dorms weren't good for his recovering brother and Al was very happy with that decision. Their little home was comfortable and had a nice view on the river. Ed took a long leave from the military but decided against leaving permanently. He needed the money after all. And he didn't know how to work on anything else.

Roy with a help from dr. Marco recovered his sight and was steadily climbing to the top. Ed was proud of him and very happy when Roy finally asked Riza out. It seems that watching her almost die was a slap that woken him up from his stupidity. Ed thought they made a lovely couple.

Finally, Al was healthy enough to be able to go around a city by himself. He wasn't getting tired as easily as before and he started sparring with Ed again, albeit slowly and carefully. Ed had to go back to working but asked Roy not to give him any assignments out of town. Mustang agreed that he deserved to live happily with his brother. To his surprise he was promoted to Lieutenant by the new Fuhrer, thanks to his fight with Father. Everyone was calling him a hero again. Ed couldn't care less, but was a little proud of his rank nonetheless. Roy was also promoted and was a General now.

Live was flowing slowly for Ed now, he had a lot of time to do some interesting research and also spent some time with Alphonse. After a lot of pleading and a little yelling on Ed's part, they got a cute kitten. Al was completely in love with it, saying that he had never touched anything more soft. What was worse, the cat took a liking to Ed, always managing to sleep with him in his bed when Ed wasn't looking. After awhile, Ed had to agree with Al. The cat was soft. And a little comforting.

Ed's pain was getting to him at night. It was hard to fall asleep with a constant throbbing. The cat somehow felt it because he usually got on Ed's chest and massaged it a little and then just fall asleep on that spot. The warmth of the animal somehow eased the pain so Ed stopped complaining. Al awed at them whenever he saw them.

Another pain, albeit not physical, was Ed's love for his brother. He knew it wasn't normal, what he felt. Because it was so much more than brotherly love. He wanted to hold him, to feel him, to kiss him and to never let him go. Yet Ed never acted on it. No, he couldn't do this to his loving little brother. Ed knew that if Al found out he would give in just to make him happy, not minding if he didn't want the same. So Ed kept his love hidden, showing only the same amount of affection he always did. But with Al back in his body it wasn't as easy, because of his uncertainty. He needed a reminder that he was really there, that Ed was there as well and that he can feel him, so Al kept touching him or giving him hugs and innocent kisses. Ed craved all contact so he never complained, besides he could see how much of this reassurance Al needed.

So Ed was almost reviled when Al met Sophie. She was a beautiful girl, with red hair and big, brown eyes. And she loved cats too. She was simply adorable and Ed couldn't find it in himself to hate her, even though she was apparently stealing Al from him. They stopped spending so much time together, instead Al was going on a walk with her, or eating lunch with her or taking her somewhere… Ed felt abandoned and for the first time he was glad they had a cat. The creature always felt if he was lonely and came to him, purring.

One year passed since Al recovered his body. Ed was still in pain, his heart throbbing mercilessly. And it was also broken, because his little brother was dating Sophie. And they seemed very happy. Ed hated himself for his jealousy. Why couldn't he be simply happy because Al was? And Sophie was perfect for him, what was more she actually became Ed's friend. Sometimes he even considered telling her about his forbidden love, but he knew that it would be too much even for her. No matter how much she liked him, something like that wouldn't be forgiven.

Ed was miserable those days and everyone in the office noticed it. He only managed to hide his mood from his brother, probably because he was so busy being in love to see. Riza approached him a few times asking what was wrong but he always lied he was fine. Even Mustang tried to talk to him. Ed was glad he had friends that were concerned about him but he didn't want to talk about it. It was wrong to feel like that anyway. Besides, even if by some miracle his brother felt the same… Ed knew he was dying, it was hard to forget. One year already passed, he had only four left. Would he die never knowing how love felt? He never even kissed anyone! Thinking like that only made his depression deepen.

Soon he had a friend in his misery, as Roy and Riza's relationship fell to pieces. Everyone were shocked when it happened, as they seemed as a perfect couple. What was more strange was the fact that it was Riza who broke it off, saying that it was only a childhood crush for her and it seemed that after sating her curiosity it passed. Roy on the other hand was devastated. Ed felt bad for him. After that Mustang has chosen him for a shoulder to cry on. But Ed didn't mind, it took his thoughts away from his own problems.

One evening, when they were drinking in Roy's flat, his friend got really drunk. Ed was tipsy himself so he didn't push Roy away when he sloppily kissed him. Alcohol took not only his brain but his skills as well but it didn't feel bad, besides that was his first kiss so he couldn't really compare it.

"Edooo? Please can I kiss you again?" Roy whined, when Fullmetal finally pushed him away. Ed looked into his eyes and found them stunningly beautiful. He didn't know why he didn't notice them before. Or maybe he was just drunk as well. Oh, whatever.

"Only if you won't regret it tomorrow." He answered finally. After all, he was lonely, Roy was lonely. Both with broken hearts. And Ed didn't like an idea of dying a virgin if he could help it.

"I won't, promise."

Their lips met again and Ed let go. Roy took him in his arms, kissing his neck sensually. He seemed to act a little more clearly now. Ed moaned, it felt good.

I'm sorry I had to cut the scene out as they are deleting stories with sex in it. You can read a whole version at nairenaire on livejournal com just add /935 dot html if it doesn't work just go to my livejournal, click archive, 15.06 on the calendar and you have it :)

"Ed?" Roy whispered, not wanting to destroy the moment, but confused nonetheless. "Shh… Please Roy, let's pretend… just pretend that you love me…" Ed whispered, hiding his face in his neck. Roy stiffened for a second, shocked but then relaxed into his embrace.

"All right, Edo… I need this too…"

They fell asleep like that, in each other's arms, for once not wishing for those to belong to someone else.

Roy groaned at the throbbing in his head. He sure as hell drank too much yesterday… He felt his warm pillow move up and down and opened his eyes, startled. He wasn't in his bed at all. And it wasn't a pillow but a chest. He was lying stark naked on his couch and under him was equally naked Edward. Suddenly, Roy remembered everything. Oh God… he had slept with Edward. He took advantage of him and liquor sure helped. Roy knew that Ed had some problems of his own and he was guessing those were some kind of love problems, as he always seemed to understand Roy's pain after Riza… And he took advantage of that… He moved, ashamed, but stopped when Ed stirred. Suddenly he was looking into beautiful pools of melted gold.

"Roy…?" Ed looked a little hesitant when he saw Roy's expression. His face got even more hurt when he realized Roy regretted everything, avoiding his eyes.

"Ed… I'm sorry… I got carried away…" he whispered, his voice full of shame.

Ed looked down, feeling hurt. What he heard in his voice was close to disgust.

"But… you promised!" Ed finally exclaimed, a little angry. Roy gaped at him shocked. What did he promise? Did he break his trust even more? "You promised you won't regret this! And I…" Ed stopped himself abruptly, turning his head away. They were lying close still, not daring to move. Roy's eyes widened.

"Edo… I'm so sorry! But I don't regret it! I just… I feel ashamed because I obviously took advantage of you!"

"What? You baka! You didn't do such a thing, I wanted it! Besides, you were drunk and I wasn't. I could have stopped you if I wanted."

They laid there in stunned silence for a moment and finally Ed chuckled.

"We are both idiots, aren't we?"

"Yes, you are right." Roy signed. "I was afraid I betrayed you. I don't want to loose your friendship."

"And I thought you regretted it and was disgusted with me… you were drunk back then but now you can clearly see all of my scars…" Ed looked away, this time his face was full of self-hatred.

"Ed… look at me." When he refused, Roy gently took hold of his chin and turned it to face him. "You are beautiful, inside and out." Ed gasped, hearing sincerity. "And those scars…" one finger lightly brushed along a long gash on his chest. "They are proof of your strength and courage."

"I… thank you, Roy." Ed felt reassured by his kind words. Suddenly, he got all red. "Uh… we are still naked…" he noticed. Roy was lying on his chest and tracing his scars with a light touch.

"Yes, I know. Yet somehow I don't feel uncomfortable about it. Besides, you look cute when you blush." Roy smirked at him, making his face go even redder. He laughed. "I haven't felt this relaxed for a long time…"

"Roy… I feel the same. Thank you." Ed closed his eyes and let him caress him. Roy moved slowly up and he opened his eyes to find his face close to his.

"Edo… you are my best friend and you helped me out of my depression. I really enjoyed myself last night and… and I want more." He admitted, this time blushing himself. He continued, looking into Ed's startled eyes. "You made me feel wanted again. You made me forget about my hurting heart. So Edo… do you want to see where this could get us?" He asked, his lips brushing Ed's.

"I… you made me feel wanted too… for the first time I felt like I belonged…" Ed whispered, by doing so lightly kissing him. This moment was sweet and full of hope… but suddenly he became aware of his throbbing heart. He gasped. He couldn't do this to Roy… what if he came to care for him? Surely, his friends will suffer greatly because of his death but a lover? No, no, no… No matter how much he wanted that, he couldn't. Roy moved away, feeling something was wrong and gasped when he saw Ed eyes full of tears.

"What's wrong?" he asked tenderly, brushing his tears away.

"Roy… even though I want to… I can't! I'm so sorry, we can't…" Ed gently took his hand away from his face and bit his lip to stop himself from sobbing. Roy looked so hurt… but Ed was sure it would hurt him more… he deserved someone who could be there for him always, not only for four years… His already broken and pained heart ached even more.

"Why, Ed? Why do you push me away? What did I do? Why, why?" Roy's questions were desperate.

Ed closed his eyes, tears spilling on his cheeks. He couldn't tell him. He gasped when his heart throbbed even more painfully and grasped at his chest, his fingers digging into flesh, leaving red marks.

"Ed? What's happening? Please… please trust me. Please tell me." Roy never pleaded so his tone of voice startled Ed.

"I… I shouldn't tell you this…"

"Ed, I never beg but this time I feel it's really important. Don't you trust me at all?"

"I do… but it will hurt you. And that's what I wanted to avoid…"

"By hurting me with rejection instead?" He asked a little harshly.

"I'm sorry… you are right, you deserve to know. But first promise me that you won't repeat it to anyone! Especially Al! He can't know!"

"I promise, this will stay a secret."

Ed closed his eyes, took a deep breath and admitted. "When I got Al's body back, I wanted to sacrifice my Gate of Truth. I was sure it was a great plan and that I would only lose my alchemy. But that Truth bastard told me that I will lose some much more, everything I know and understand… So I couldn't do something like that. That was my only plan. I knew that only other deal I could do would require giving up my life… I was ready for this, even though I knew Al would be pissed… But the Truth gave me a better offer, because he was a little impressed with my previous thinking…" Ed closed his eyes, taking another deep breath. Roy stayed still not even daring to move an inch. "He allowed me to have five years. He said that he will take my life slowly instead of killing me instantly. But I'm constantly in pain as a price, my heart is throbbing where one of the Gate's hands pierced through me. So I gave up my life for Al but I have still four years to live…"

Roy laid there, stunned. Ed was really selfless person… but why? Why did it have to be him, paying the price of such an innocent desire, to see his mother's smile again? It wasn't fair at all… and now not only Ed suffered, but also people around him.

"Edo…" he whispered and hugged him tightly.

"Gomenasai, Roy… You understand now, don't you? I don't want to reject you in any way but you will only get hurt because of me. It will be better if I stayed away, because it will hurt you more when I die…" he tried to untangle himself from his embrace and leave but Roy didn't let him.

"Baka! I will not let you leave me now! You are dying! I…" Roy finally lost the fight with his emotions and cried. Ed never saw him so vulnerable before… "Please Ed, if you really believe I won't be sad when you die then you are an idiot. Even if nothing happened between us, I've always cared about you… You are my best friend. And now I believe you can be something more if you only let me be there for you! I know you are hurting, both physically and mentally. I'm hurt too and I need you! Please don't reject me, Ed, I won't stand it! Not again!" Roy was shouting now, his eyes overflowed with tears. Ed didn't want to see him this hurt and all because of him, of his stupidity! He shouldn't have let anything happen yesterday… then Roy wouldn't know and Ed would have distanced himself from him over time…

"I'm sorry Roy… I'm not rejecting you. But I'm dying. Surely you know that if you were to stay with me, like a lover… you will get more attached and more hurt in the end. That's way, no matter how I feel, I should leave."

"No, Ed I refuse. Tell me to my face that you don't want me, that's the only way I could let you go."

Ed looked into his beautiful, determined eyes and couldn't lie. "I can't lie to your face. I want you…" Roy moved closer and kissed him tenderly. "And I want you. I will be there for you Ed…"

"Roy… There is one more thing that you don't know about me…" he looked away. Maybe if he confessed his twisted love for Al Roy would realize how disgusting he really was? "I did it because I love Al. But my love is not innocent. It's not a proper brotherly love. I'm in love with him. I know it's wrong but I can't help but desire him…" he admitted quietly, looking away. He was ready for painful rejection now but he just couldn't watch his face twisting in disgust.

"Edo, I understand. I know that you two only had each other… It somehow seems normal that you would feel that way about Al." Those kind words made him snap his face back towards him, his eyes wide and mouth open in shock. "It's obvious you love him dearly and I guess lust is just an added bonus, because of your age. I'm not disgusted by it or anything so you don't have to feel ashamed." Roy smiled at him and closed his lips with a kiss. "I only wonder where we fit in with each other…" he signed. "I love Riza, you love Al, yet we are here, comfortable with each other. I believe we can mend our hearts. We only need to give us a chance. So what do you say Ed? Will you let me heal you? Will you heal me in return?"

"I… Roy…" he whispered, so many emotions swirling inside him. His heart throbbed even more, so he grasped his chest again, trying to ease the pain a little. "Yes." He finally surrendered and let Roy kiss him deeply. Soon they were touching each other again and even though he was still sore from yesterday he let Roy claim him.

Suddenly Ed's life became beautiful again. He was truly happy. Roy made him smile and laugh and forget about pain. And at night, he didn't have to hug a cat to ease his throbbing heart… Roy was even warmer than his pet. Al noticed a change in him and commented of his new sleeping habits, away from home. But Ed didn't want to tell him he was seeing Roy. He wanted it to be their sweet secret so he just said he had company but refused to give away more. Time was flying quickly, days in the office more interesting, research more challenging and nights no longer lonely. He was happy and so was Roy.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Ed noticed that something was troubling his little brother a whole day. He stayed at home, asking Ed to join him in doing nothing and seemed lost in his thoughts.

"Al? Tell me what's wrong. We are sitting around doing nothing for over an hour now! And you keep spacing out." He finally asked, concerned. Al looked at him and hesitated. "C'mon, you know you can tell me anything! I will listen and maybe even help if I can."

"I know, Nii-san." Al signed and moved a little closer to him on the sofa. "I had a fight with Sophie." He admitted, biting his lips. Ed was a little shocked at that, they were both very calm people and they seemed to always agree with each other. "What happened?"

"I… We were eating dinner, just a two of us. It was very romantic…" He said, blushing. Ed couldn't help but think he was beautiful like that. "And out of the blue Sophie told me she loved me."

"That's great!" Ed said, pretending to be happy for him.

"No, it's not that great! I just couldn't say it back…" he whispered.

"What, why? You two seem to be made for each other! I've never seen a couple as happy as you!" Ed exclaimed. Al looked at him and his face was full of hurt and confusion. He looked like he was about to cry.

"I don't know what's wrong with me! I care about her, I really do and you are right, I'm happy. But I just couldn't say it! I tried and she looked so sad and then angry. She run away, crying." Al bit his lip. "I hurt her and I feel horrible but I'm also confused. Why do I feel like she's not my girlfriend? Why can't I love her?"

He was crying now and Ed moved to hug him. Al clung to his chest and Ed felt his tears soaking his shirt. He slowly petted his hair like he always did to calm him down and planted a few kisses on the top of his head. It worked it's magic again.

"I'm sorry, Nii-san…" He said, ashamed, trying to move away but Ed held him tightly. Even though he hated himself, he couldn't help but enjoy the contact. Al stopped moving and hugged him back. Finally, Ed let him go, his face a little warm.

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah, thanks."

"Al… love is not something easy. Many people take it lightly but we don't. We were always serious when it came to trust… I'm the same. There is only one person that I love and it's you." He said, glad that as his brother it wasn't something strange to say and his intentions weren't obvious. He got red in the face anyway but Al's smile made him melt. "There is nothing wrong with taking it seriously but you have to explain it to her. I'm sure she's hurt and probably feels rejected… but she will forgive you if you talk with her. Tell her how much she means to you, just be honest."

Al looked better instantly, Ed's words making him feel better. "Thank you, Nii-san! I knew I can count on you!" He hugged him again and gave him a chaste kiss on a cheek. "Haha, you are blushing!" Al laughed and Ed pouted at him, embarrassed. "I'm not! You just hugged me too tightly, that's all!" But he couldn't stay annoyed hearing that beautiful laugh.

Later that day, when Al went to speak with Sophie, Ed visited Roy again. He needed to speak with him, because he knew that Roy will listen and not judge.

"Ed? It's something wrong?" his voice was concerned. Roy was a lot more careful around him after he found out about his deal with the Gate.

"Eh, not really. But Al had a little love problem today and I had to comfort him. He cried and I hugged him but I felt so disgusted with myself for enjoying it… How can I enjoy it when he's in pain? It's horrible!" Ed was almost shaking, thinking the worst about himself. Roy moved to him and held him in his arms.

"Ed, calm down, you didn't do anything wrong! It's natural to feel happy when you are close to someone you love. You helped him, didn't you?" He nodded, hugging Roy back. He felt really good in his embrace. He knew that there wasn't love between them, not yet anyway but their bond was strong and very comforting.

They sat in silence for awhile, just being close, looking into a fireplace. The flames were calming and gave a nice warmth.

"Ed? I've got a mission for you but it would require you to leave the city. The Fuhrer requested that you go. He wants to meet with us tomorrow. I wanted you to know beforehand, so you won't be surprised."

"Thanks. But do I have to go? I thought that my research was deemed useful enough so I wouldn't have to leave on missions for some time?"

"Well, yes but it's something different. There is a strange alchemy used and we don't understand the arrays we found. Everyone knows how brilliant you are, so the Fuhrer thought about you first. But it's quite dangerous so I will probably accompany you."

"Really? They are sending a General?"

"Well… not really but I asked for it. You don't have Al with you anymore for protection, I don't want you to go alone…" He admitted, knowing that Ed won't be happy with that.

"Roy! I can take care of myself." He huffed a little annoyed but it wasn't an explosion Roy expected. He smiled, Ed grew up a little. Even though he was still a chibi – Roy chuckled at that.

"Hey, stop thinking like that! I'm sure you just thought something annoying, you bastard!" Roy laughed at that and kissed his nose, making him blush cutely.

"You are just so adorable I can't help myself." He smiled and kissed him, this time on the lips. After a little stubborn pause, not letting him claim his mouth, Ed finally let his tongue in. He loved kissing, it felt relaxing and nice. Roy's kisses made his knees weak.

"Well, I believe I can go on that mission." He admitted, after catching his breath. "If there are some interesting arrays I sure want to crack that puzzle." He grinned. He loved challenges like these.

That night they only slept together, hugging tightly. Ed's heart was bothering him too much and he needed comfort. He was glad that Roy could give him that, without asking for sex. He really was a perfect boyfriend. Ed wished he could spend forever with him but he knew he couldn't. He hoped that Mustang will move on without any regrets…

Next day they met the Fuhrer and Ed got instantly interested when he saw a few pictures of the arrays. He got engrossed immediately, already planning which books he will have to take with him and trying to recognize some patterns. That made the Fuhrer laugh, saying that he knew he gave it to the good hands.

"I think I recognize a few of the symbols but there are a lot that I don't know… I'm sure I saw that symbol somewhere, maybe in a book about eastern alchemy…" He pointed at a strange letter, looking a little like A but with some added lines. "This" he pointed at another picture. "is for transmutating water to make it harden like steel. It's something very complex and I don't understand a whole picture… I saw it in a book I'm in possession with so I will research it today. As for the rest of them – I don't have a clue. It reminds me of east alchemy but it seems to be taking energy just like they do in Xing…" Ed fell silent, thinking hard.

Roy was impressed. When he saw the pictures the only symbols he recognized where the basic ones – water, earth and fire of course. He knew that Ed was a genius but he wasn't aware of the extent of his knowledge. He knew that many alchemists from East City were trying to solve it for weeks and they've got less than Ed just told them after ten minutes.

"I'm glad you seem to have some knowledge about this. Please feel free to do the research here if you need it. But it would be better if you take as little time as possible to go there." The Fuhrer warned them. "There are some dangerous people trying to destroy the arrays and they already made some damage. I'm sure the pictures won't be enough for you to work on? "Ed shook his head. "When you are there it would be good if you catch the culprits of course but it's not your main job. I have people to do that but I know how well you can fight, Fullmetal."

The praise from the Fuhrer would make everyone flustered but Ed barely took notice, looking at the pictures again. Roy smiled politely at him and finally they made theirs good bye. Ed didn't even look up when the Fuhrer left but the man only smiled and waved Roy off when he tried to apologize. Ed was the only one who didn't pay any respect to anyone and yet he never got in trouble because of it, so Roy let it slide.

The next few hours Ed spent in the library, searching for the right books while Roy dealt with everything they would need on their trip. He wasn't used to missions as he spent his time doing paperwork or going to meetings, so he felt a little lost but he managed somehow. They met at lunch, Ed with a stack of books so tall he had problems with carrying them all. Roy laughed when he saw him. "Ed, I can't see you behind those!"

"Haha, thanks a lot, bastard!" he grunted, finally setting them down on the floor and sitting on a chair. "Go get me some lunch, I'm exhausted!" Roy shook his head but grabbed a plate for him.

While eating, Ed chatted enthusiastically about the arrays, eating fast as always. Roy sat there and listened, Ed spoke with a passion and it was actually nice to listen to him even though he didn't understand a word.

"Ed…" he finally interrupted him, smiling a little. "I don't understand what you are saying but I'm really impressed with your knowledge. You really are a genius!"

"Yeah, yeah whatever." He shrugged and took his books again. "You could help me with those, you know." Roy smiled and did as asked.

They moved the books to Roy's office, as he still had to work on paperwork to get a little ahead if he was leaving and Ed wanted to stay in his company while reading. They've spend a comfortable afternoon.

It took Ed only three days to read through all the materials he had and Roy was impressed again, but also a little annoyed. When Ed got so worked up he didn't even have time to eat or sleep so Roy felt a little abandoned. He knew it was illogical but he got so used to his company and attention that when he suddenly lost it he felt neglected. Roy couldn't get his depressed thoughts out of his head. Missing Ed reminded him of his condition. He was dying. What will Roy do when he won't be there anymore?

"Ed…?" He tried to get his attention, but Ed was in his own world, reading and scribbling some notes, lying on the floor in front of the fireplace. It was getting late and he wanted to go to sleep. "Ed! Please, stop working. It's late." He finally looked at him, irritated.

"Roy, I know it's late but I have to finish it. We are leaving in two days and I can't take so many books with me. So let me work and go to sleep if you want to."

Roy signed and got up from the couch. He wanted to hug Ed and made him go to bed with him, maybe have a little fun, but he knew it would only annoy the blonde so he gave him one sad stare and went to bed.

He couldn't fall asleep, though. He realized he got so used to Ed's presence, to his warmth that he was unable to relax alone. Recently they spent every night together, falling asleep near the other. His arms were empty now. He panicked a little, knowing that in a few years Ed will be gone for good. He felt like crying. After a while of tossing and turning he gave up and got up. He went to see if Ed was still working. He found him where he left him, still scribbling furiously. He looked at the clock – it was already midnight.

"Ed, please." He whispered in his ear, making him jump. "Roy! You startled me! I thought you were asleep?"

"I can't sleep without you. I can't relax if you are not there." Roy hugged him. "I'm scared." He whispered into his hair. Ed moved his face to look at him. Mustang's eyes were so sad…

"Why are you scared, Roy? What's wrong?"

"I can't sleep without you anymore. What will I do when you are gone?" his voice was full of pain and his eyes seemed empty. Ed inhaled sharply. "Roy… I told you it will happen… I told you that you will get too attached to me! And I can't change my fate, no matter how much I want to spend eternity with you, my time is limited. I'm sorry…"

They sat on the floor hugging each other desperately.

"Maybe we should break it off…" Ed suggested quietly, looking away. His heart ached, not only from physical pain but from emotions as well.

"What? No! Ed, don't say things like that!"

"I'm sorry… I don't want to, but won't it be better for you? I care about you a lot, I don't want to hurt you…"

"Then stop saying so stupid things. C'mon, come to bed, if you will really need more time then we can leave later. I don't want you exhausted and I would like to sleep too." Ed grunted but let him help him up and went after him to bed. He undressed and slipped between the covers and Roy got rid of his night robe as well. He caressed his chest slowly, kissing him.

"I want you, Edo…" he whispered, licking his neck, making him groan. "Roy… didn't you want to sleep?" But Roy shook his head and went lower with his mouth. Soon, the bedroom was filled with moans. He missed this, this passion and pleasure of touch. Roy realized then, that what they had was precious. But he knew better than to voice his love, Ed didn't want to hear it for sure. Roy knew that Ed felt guilty because he thought that he was hurting him. But it wasn't like that, Mustang knew that he would be more hurt if Ed left him alone. He knew that it was better to have love for a short time than never know it at all. It was a long way but Ed managed to replace Riza in his heart finally. Although he would never stop caring for her.

Afterwards Ed laid in his arms, spent and happy. He kissed his chest, put his head on his shoulder and grunted a goodnight. Soon his breathing was soft and regular. Roy held him close and when he thought he was asleep, whispered into his hair "I love you Ed… I want to hold you forever." Ed stirred and moved his head up and Roy gasped when he realized he was awake. "I, um… Edo?" he was scared, what if Ed really break up with him because he got too attached? But Ed smiled at him, a warm and a little sad smile and kissed him sweetly.

"I love you too. I didn't plan it and it sure as hell going to hurt us both but I'm also glad. I thought that I will die without knowing this feeling… and it's incredible, I feel save and protected. You make me happy and I can forget about my pain or broken heart. You were right, Roy. You really did heal my heart and I think I did the same for you."

"You did. Thank you, Ed." He kissed him again and they've finally fallen asleep. Such happiness were rare in both of their lives.

Next two days were spend getting ready for their assignment. But the air between them felt different. Sure, they were comfortable and happy before, but after confessing love to each other, everything changed. Ed seemed more relaxed and he smiled constantly. Roy wasn't missing his frown at all. They finally became a real couple.

Eventually they found themselves on the train, sitting close enough to brush shoulders. They couldn't risk getting closer even though Roy wanted badly to hold Edward while he slept soundly next to him. But being in public required to be careful. He passed his time looking out of the window or watching Ed's beautiful face.

They found the arrays inside an old church, protected by at least twelve people. Ed was pissed when he saw the damage made but soon got engrossed in his notes. Roy spoke with a few soldiers, getting a whole picture of a situation. Apparently, there was a group of people, probably two or three alchemists and five more men, acting as theirs bodyguards. They used the church for practicing their alchemy and the military noticed when one transformation surely went out of control, blowing half of the place up and destroying a nearest building. Unfortunately, there was one person – civil – that died because of the explosion. The army chased them away but didn't manage to catch them. The security wasn't too good so the culprits came back and destroyed a few arrays before they got interrupted. What was worse, they escaped again. Nodding to the soldier, he went to Ed's side to ask him what he thought about this. He found him speaking with some alchemist, so he stopped to listen.

"A group of our best alchemists tried to understand the arrays but we only came up with a few loose ideas. We recognized…" But Ed interrupted him "Can I tell you what I know? It would be better that way and you will be able to tell me what I missed." The man nodded. Ed moved to the closest array and pointed to one symbol. Roy recognized a water pattern, nothing else. "This made water harder to steel. This is a trigger but it strange as it seems to be taking the energy from the veins of dragon earth, like they do in Xing. This symbol here, though, surely comes from east and it means silver, but not in the metal we know but melted in volcano flame and then mixed with hardened water."

The man looked impressed at Ed. It was obvious from the beginning that the scientist didn't think that Ed knew anything. He looked down on him, like at the small child. Now on his face was respect.

Ed continued "I believe it's some kind of shield, as those mixed components would not only be hard enough to stop physical attacks but also alchemical one. The other array is actually integrated with the first one, though it's not so obvious. This symbol here isn't know in recent alchemy but I found out it was used in the eleventh century, before we changed most of our symbols and deemed some useless. It's actually a connection symbol and it corresponds with that one on the second array. So the trigger works also for this one, that's why it seemed so strange and pointless. It adds to the shield but doesn't destroy a balance of the previous transmutation…"

Ed looked at the strange symbol again. His voice was sure and he seemed like he was speaking an obvious truth.

The man was full of awe now "I can't believe it! And you discovered it all just in a few days? It took us weeks to come up with a theory for the first array - and we agree on that – and we were aware the second one would have straightened the shield but we were sure it was wrong because it didn't have a trigger! How is it possible that someone as young as you would know all that?"

"Well… I've been a state alchemist for eight years now. And I studied a lot. Besides, it's obvious isn't it? Yea, I admit that finding this one symbol took me a whole day but with this last piece of the puzzle it was easy to tell."

Ed waved the man off and went back to explaining everything. Roy was so impressed at his knowledge that he felt like an idiot. He simply didn't realize before how truly brilliant Ed was. And the scientist stood there in the same awe Roy felt. When Ed told them what he knew he asked what he missed. The man looked a little embarrassed.

"Well… You actually explained a lot more that we uncovered, Major. I'm really impressed and look forward to working with you." But Ed being Ed only snorted at the man and replied arrogantly "I'm sorry, but I work alone. Besides it seems you lot are useless. You don't know anything about Xingian or East alchemy and you don't have knowledge about the Old ways. I would like to see your library, though." But the man only smiled, nodding. He didn't take offence at Ed's words because he was right. They would probably slow him down. "Of course, you are right sir. I will show you our books when you feel like it. Do you want to go now?"

"Nah, I'd like to stay and look at those arrays some more. And I didn't see the place of the explosion yet."

"Of course. Then please ask one of the soldiers to show you to our lab, when you want to. I need to leave. Good day." He nodded, full respect now. When the man left Roy finally spoke up "Edward. You are the most brilliant genius I've ever heard of. I just stood there in awe when you explained everything."

"Don't make fun of me, Roy! I read a lot that that's all brilliance that's about me." Ed denied. But deep inside he was warm from the praise. Somehow, he couldn't care less when the scientist said that, but coming from Roy it felt nice. "But thanks anyway." He blushed.

Roy laughed a little, but let him be. He knew that Ed was actually humble under his arrogant exterior. They went to see the side of the building where the explosion took place. There wasn't anything really and Roy thought it was useless to try and find something, but Ed crunched down and analyzed the floor.

"There! You see this strain?" He pointed to the black line. Roy nodded and moved closer. "This is where the main trigger was. And this substance in similar to that silver from before." Ed fell silent. Then he clapped his hands and the gray spots disappeared. "I don't want it to mess with my next transmutation." He replied at Roy's silent question. Then he clapped again and Roy couldn't believe his eyes when a part of the circle appeared before Ed. "What did you do? How?"

"It's an useful transmutation I found some time ago. I can't bring back everything but I can recover a part of the circle that took too much energy. It means that while transmutating, those were the parts that screw up." Roy was impressed once again. He thought that he would have to get used to this feeling because Ed was sure to surprise him again.

"Well, it's obvious they tried to create some kind of bomb or weapon but it blown up to their faces." Ed said and got up, brushing dust out of his clothes. "Let's go, there is nothing more here. I need to look for more arrays, sometimes they are hidden."

So they went to search the whole place slowly. Roy was bored as hell but Ed seemed determined as always. Finally, after two long hours Ed shouted in triumph "I found one! Look here!" and sure, there was a small array, so tiny it was easy to overlook, at one of the branches. Ed studied it for a long time, muttering under his breath and before Roy could move to stop him, he activated the array.

"Ed! What the hell are you doing, it could be dangerous!" he shouted but it was too late. Blue light flashed and it made a chain reaction. Suddenly, all around the church small arrays like this one activated.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Then, it all stopped and they saw an entrance that wasn't here before. Ed grinned at him and went to the gate. "See, I know what I'm doing, Mustang. Just let me work. You said it yourself – I'm a brilliant genius." He laughed and focused on arrays on the entrance.

"Fine." He gave up and studied the circles as well. Finally, there was something he could recognize. There were a lot of arrays to stop anyone from entering. Nasty ones.

"You know them, don't you?"

"Of course. You don't?"

"Well, I know what they are for and what will they do to me if I tried to open that door. But I don't know anything about deactivating them." Ed admitted and it was time for Roy to smirk smugly. He took a small step closer and went to work. Soon he found the trigger and worked around it. Then, he went to deactivating one array after another while Ed closely watched his every move.

"Ah, I get it now. It's not so different from creating them. It reminds me a little of Scar's alchemy."

Roy finished and the door were save to open. But Ed stopped him "You don't know if they didn't add some traps on the other side as well. Wait." He clapped and stood there for awhile. "All right, all clear." He said and opened the door. A narrow and dark corridor appeared. Ed hesitantly took a step and Roy, after getting attention of a few soldiers to accompany them, went after him. But they had to go one a time because it was so narrow. Finally they arrived at a small round room and Ed shouted in triumph "Bloody brilliant! A library! Those bastards left theirs books here! Idiots." He snorted.

"Well, they were running in a hurry, so they couldn't take anything." Roy looked around. A few shelves full of books. He went closer to Ed, who was already through one book. But there weren't any letters there! Only some strange symbols Roy have never seen before. Ed groaned "God damn it! They aren't such idiots after all. Those books are not only coded with a code from the Old ways… I'm sure it will be in the damn old language as well… it will take weeks just to break the code! I can read in most of the old languages but if it's something I have no recollection of it will be bloody painful."

"You know old languages?" Roy read one book like that, old and creepy and the language was horrible and complex. He had to check every other expression and still didn't understand most of it. Ed waved him off like always. "Sure I do. You think that I would get some information about the Stone in modern language? Don't make me laugh. I had to learn them but I don't know everything, mostly just basic."

Ed took a book with him and sat on the sofa. He took his notebook out and flipped a few pages. Roy was always curious what he had there so he sat near him and looked over his shoulder. It seemed to be some kind of dictionary, full of symbols and descriptions. "What is it?"

"Those are my notes about various codes. Most have the same sequence of symbols. If you keep track of them you can probably break any code. This one though looks old. I saw that one before so maybe I'll be able to crack it."

After an hour of watching Ed work, Roy got so bored he couldn't stand it. "Ed! Please, let's have a break. I'm hungry and you haven't eaten either. Please?" He looked at him with his best puppy dog eyes and Ed signed, defeated. He just couldn't say no to this. "Fine, fine, don't make a face like that." He looked around a small room and realized they were alone. He smirked and leaned closer "Or I will have to kiss it off your face…" he murmured and did exactly that. After a long and satisfying kiss they went to have some late lunch.

As the time passed, Roy felt guilty, realizing that when he scowled at Ed about his missions taking so long or destroying half the city he didn't have a clue how good he actually was at his work. Ed cracked some ancient code in ten days time. Local scientists were so amazed they couldn't believe they met a prodigy like Edward. The books were about an old cult and now those arrays made sense. They were trying to achieve an ultimate shield and a special bomb but at the latter they failed. Ed believed they did create the shield as he explained the possibility of it working and why. They believed that with a perfect protection and weapon they could attack the country in the name of their god. Ed translated most of it and explained what could happen if the bomb was completed. He even had a few theories how to improve their array to create it, not that he would. Roy was awe struck again. When he took a look at such a complicated text he realized that it could take months but Ed actually worked unbelievingly fast. He felt bad about saying that he was lazy before – he didn't know Ed's tasks were usually that hard and complicated. And now he knew from experience that Ed was many things but when it came to challenges like those he was a workaholic.

Then, there came a fight. The bastards were back, this time better prepared but not enough for Ed. Roy realized then that the most damage was made by the culprits not Fullmetal – the bastards like to destroy and blow up things in their way. Of course, Ed had his share of destruction but it were mostly walls and spikes, sometimes big hands made of the ground. Roy tried to help and his fire was great as ever but he knew that he didn't stand a chance alone. With Ed, though it looked like he had an upper hand – he was grinning like mad when his punches hit and his traps worked and chasing them down for such a long time he didn't even break a sweat. Roy was panting already and he knew he won't be able to keep up for long. He felt even more guilty now – he knew he had to apologize to Ed after this ordeal was over. Ed was better at his work that he imagined. He deserved credit.

Roy was tired and distracted with his musings. There were only three guys left, one was dealing with Roy and the other two were fighting with Fullmetal. He snapped his fingers again and again finally managing to catch the quick bastard on fire. He added more power to his flame and he burned alive. Roy didn't regret his decision, the bastard gave him a hard time and a few bruises. What he didn't notice, though was that one of the other two pulled out a gun and instead of trying to shot his opponent he targeted Roy. Mustang was too tired to react but Ed wasn't. With a terrified shout Ed did something unbelievingly stupid and brave – he jumped in the way of the bullet. Roy snapped around and felt the time slow down. Ed's pained face filled his vision. Blood. So much blood, flowing from his love's chest. He's fallen to the ground and he was lying there in a puddle of red, red blood. Roy couldn't believe it. The bastards shouted happily and it snapped him out of his trance. Quickly he snapped his fingers in rage and the two man were ash in a second. His panic gave him more power so he was able to kill them like that, but he didn't pay it any mind. He fell to his knees at Ed's side, desperately trying to stop the bleeding.

"Ed! Answer me, Edward! You can't die, you hear me? You can't…!" Roy was in full panic now, Ed's face was pale, his eyes closed. He was still breathing, but very shallowly and too fast. He lifted him gently in his arms and run. Ed needed a hospital and now! Finally those eyes fluttered open and Ed gasped for breath and said

"I'm sorry, Roy… I guess I will leave a little… sooner…" his voice quieted down. Roy looked at him and shook his head, still running.

"You are not going anywhere! You will be all right. We are almost at the hospital. Just stay with me!"

"I love you, Roy…" he whispered and closed his eyes again, coughing up blood. Roy finally got him to the hospital and run even faster to the door when he noticed Ed had stopped breathing.

"Doctor! Help, I need help now!" he shouted and thank God, someone rushed to him and quickly took Ed from his arms. He didn't want to let him go but knew he had to. The doctor gently laid him down on the floor and proceeded in helping him regain his breath again. Roy watched in relief when Ed's chest moved with air again. Then, he was taken to the operating room. Roy waited with terror all over his face. He was still covered in blood and shaking badly when a nurse took pity on him and showed him a bathroom, giving him some shirt to change.

Finally a doctor came to see him, his face grim and lips pressed in a thin line. Roy paled at that but waited for the man to speak.

"You've brought that boy, yes?" At his nod, he continued. "We managed to save his life. The bullet done a lot of damage to his lung but he will recover. He was lucky it missed his heart or there wouldn't be anything we could do. I believe I need to call the police, though. It's a procedure."

"There is no need for a police, it's a military case." Roy said, showing his watch.

"I see. But if it concerns a civilian then we are obligated to…" Roy interrupted him.

"No, no, Ed is a state alchemist as well. Look into his pocket if you don't believe me. He's no ordinary boy. Please tell me everything about his condition, I'm his Superior Officer so I can look into his medical data."

The doctor signed, pushing his glasses up his nose in irritation. "Military. Such a young boy, too…" he muttered under his breath and then focused on Mustang again. "All right. As I said, we barely saved his life. His lung is damaged and it will probably take a few weeks to heal. He might encounter problems with breathing at first. He is bruised – I believe from a fight – and has a few cuts, but they don't need stitches. But there is something else we found." He suddenly looked far more concerned.

"What is it?" Roy felt like panicking again.

"Well… I'm not sure if you are aware of this or not… If he has seen the doctor… But we had found out that he has a serious defect on his heart. I believe it is killing him slowly and it's probably painful. I think he will die in a few years time. I'm sorry, but we have never seen something like this and we don't have any treatment." The doctor observed Roy's reaction. There was a shock for a second but then realization flared in his eyes. He looked sad now.

"Yes, we are both aware of his condition." Doctor nodded. "Can I see him?"

"Yes, but he's still unconscious. Follow me."

The doctor led him to a small room. Everything was white there and Ed seemed to disappear as he was as pale as a ghost. Roy rushed to his side and sat down on a chair, taking his hand. The doctor excused himself and left.

"Ed… You idiot. Why did you take a bullet for me?"

"Can't be Fuhrer while dead…" came a whispered reply and Ed opened his eyes.

"Ed! Are you are right? Do you want me to call a doctor?" Roy asked, glad that he was awake already. Ed shook his head and looked at him with pained eyes.

"You are in pain. I will call that doctor, just lay still." He got up and soon a nurse was giving Ed something for the pain. When she left Roy sat down on the edge of his bed and embraced him. He kissed his forehead and Ed signed, content in his arms.

"Edo, you really are an idiot. Don't scare me like that again! I rather take that bullet than watch you get hurt…"

"Roy, stop blaming yourself. I feel just like you do. I rather take that bullet for you. You would have died. I saw you were too tired to react, it would have hit you."

"You are such an idiot… I don't know what I would have done without you…" He signed, nuzzling his hair.

"Roy… You have your whole life before you. Promise me you will live on. That you won't get depressed and abandon your dreams. I'm not worth it…"

"Ed… Please, don't say things like that…"

They stayed there in silence for awhile and finally Ed has fallen asleep. Roy gently brushed his hair out of his eyes, leaning in to place a kiss at his brow.

Author's note:

Well, that's it. I will come back to this story, but I need to finish "Devil and angel" first or I need to have some brilliant idea what will happen next. If you like this story, please be patient :)


End file.
